Have you ever tried something that scared you a little?
Somewhere growing up, in between the American Dream and New Wave Feminism, I got the impression that if it scares you a little, you're doing it right. I can't say that I actually ever experienced what that means, being alternately too crazy/stupid or too cowardly. Yes, my name is Heather Louise and I am a chicken.
Now I'm experiencing it.
I've been skating with a few other beginners about twice a week for three weeks. It's done about a tablespoons worth of good. Saturday was the first day of Fresh Meat Training and I got the piss knocked out of me. Seriously. By time I got home I was bruised from my butt to my ego. I started to question whether I could actually do this.
Part of me wavered till the other day when I got a good talkin-to from an unlikely source- my mother. Ms. I-don't-like-this-but-I'll-play-along-with-your-shenanigans. She spent a good ten minutes telling me about all the skills Derby would give me and how they could be applied to the real world. She talked about how when we pay attention to life, life tends to hand us exactly what we need. And she told me that if I was feeling chicken, so stare the situation in the face and say "Bring it on!" It was just what I needed.
It got me thinking about other things that scare me, like speaking up about values I believe in and "getting involved." I think it's time I make a list of scary things and start doing them.
Am I still afraid for the next practice? Yes. But I'm ready to face it head on. And I'm armed with a puke-bucket.