Stay on the Path

I don't do waiting well. The thing is that I've been doing an awful lot of it lately, at least when it comes to my graphic novel, school, work...OK, I've just been waiting a lot. But I'm a little nervous about it because this time, as I wait for the next move for my book I'm starting to lose the feeling that it's actually happening. It's not a logical feeling, because it is happening and these periods between steps are perfectly normal in the creation of a book. But it makes me apprehensive.

I find that when my life opens up, the way that it has lately, all kinds of distracting fillers flow in, and it's not easy to tell which are blessings and which are not. I believe roller derby was one of those fillers.  A good, educating experience, and in many ways, The Right Thing, just in The Wrong Time. In that case, I screwed up, over estimated my power and resources, and ended up missing registration for school. That Cannot Happen Again.

Then along comes my friend Tara. Tara is the mother of a friend of Lala's. She's a personal trainer,  sells health & wellness products, and is a text book Type A personality. She's also a sweetheart. But that is neither here nor there. Tara calls me the other day and says that she wants to tell me about her company because "With your self motivation, your health values, your energy, your need for flexibility right now- you'd be perfect!" I sniff a pyramid scheme, but there are a few factors that lead me to bite:

1. She's nice and talkative and I want to go have tea
2. She's the sole income of her house, and she's loaded

I'll never get her off my back if I don't

I meet her at Life Alive and we have a nice visit. We talk about me leaving my job and different kinds of tea and our girls. Then she tells me about the business. It's called Arbonne. I'm not wrong in the type of business model it is- you get bigger if others get bigger too, but on the other hand, it's the highest compensation program in the industry (I looked that up). I don't want to be the Mary Kay lady by any means. But on the other hand, they encourage a more casual, natural recommendation model. So she talks to me about the products. They're vegan- bonus. They remind me a lot of products like Juice by Alicia Silverstone. And she tells me that she can get them for cheaper than Clinique- which is the only thing to this point that's done me a lick of good. And she's brought samples for me. OK, OK, I think. Can't hurt if it's free.

This is where I've fallen to pieces.
I love the samples.
My laugh lines, eye lines, and worry lines are all gone. I've had worry lines since I was 16.

I don't know what to do. I want these products and I want them cheap. This is stupid. Am I getting distracted? Do I want to spend my time doing what she does? What if it was just a little bit of time? Can I do it all, or am I going to screw up again? Not if I get to class registration on Monday, right? Right!?

Epic Move...Kinda

So I've decided that it was time for me and the Jewelry Shop to part ways. I finish my stint there at the end of the December.

What? you say? You've only been there since spring and I thought you loved it?!

I know, but there comes a time to grow and move forward from everything stationary, and this was my time to move on from the Jewelry Shop. The facts are that I feel I've been dropping the ball when it comes to Cal and school, that I need to devote more and more time to my writing and impending Kickstarter campaign (all my research has concluded that a successful kickstarter equates to a full time job), and school is starting soon and I HAVE to get in this time or I'll go crazy! These things are just more important to me than a retail job that barely pays for the day care costs it requires.

On a completely unrelated note, what does everyone want for Christmuka?

Being the Boss

I decided that I never want to be a business owner. Maybe cool enough to have a personal assistant some day, but there's no way I want to interview and hire an entire staff. And all I've had to experience so far is the vetting of babysitters.
   We've gone through every avenue from spreading the word at church to posting job adds on the Harvard website, to looking up postings on Craigslist. What we've come up with seem to be of two camps.

On the One Hand: 

• Has experience babysitting or working as a nanny for a friend. 
• Uses an excess of typos and grammatical errors, including the non-word "alot"
• Moved hear for "personal reasons" 
• Expects to be paid anywhere from $5-10 more than I make. 

On the Other Hand: 

• Has a BA in one of the following: Psychology and Cognitive Neuroscience, Global Health and Population with a minor in Arabic Studies; Performing Arts and Theater
• Speaks French, Spanish, Arabic, and/or Chinese
• Volunteered with Special Olympics in Africa, Habitat for Humanity in Venezuela, or worked as an Au Pair in France. 
•  How can I possibly ask you to take minimum wage? But please babysit my kids! 

I'm just trying to figure out how other people do it. 

The Bright Side of Monday

   Mondays can be pretty detestable. Thank you Captain Obvious. But so can a lot of other things be, depending on how you look at them. So today I've been trying to take a page out of my Lala's book and look on the bright side (she is the most optimistic child ever!)

• Monday means tomorrow is Tuesday: Tuesday is Pay Day! I get to go grocery shopping with my new cook book in tow. I get to go to my new job that I love. I'm so getting something new to wear for work! Maybe that dress I've been drooling over for a week. 
• My aching back means that I've got one hellofa clean kitchen! 
• I have a wonderful, supportive husband who's been showering me with positiveness all day.
• There are French bulldogs in the world. 

What's on your bright side? 

First Day Lesson

Guess who's got two thumbs, a job, and likes it! C'est Moi! Today was my first day working at "The Jewelry Shop," as it shall hitherto for be known. I'm definitely in the learning period, and it's funny finding nuances that I have to adjust to, having been out of the work place for several years. But I'm learning fast.
   The first lesson, unexpectedly, has been that my wardrobe needs an update! Seriously- it says right in the employee handbook, under Dress and Appearance, "[Clothing should be] fashion forward."

Uh, Fashion Quick-Fix?

   At first glance I'm all, "That's a requirement? What a cool place to work!" And then I realize that my normal uniform of Forever21 jeans and Tokidoki tee shirts isn't going to cut it. I don't exactly have the dough to fork out for some new work clothes (remember, I'm trying to go back to school here), so how do we solve this problem?

• Phase one: shake off the dust and try on everything. Two or three times may be necessary. Try them on in every conceivable combination. 
• Phase two: Suck in really hard. 
• Phase three: employ safety pins, duct tape, and Plaster of Paris to fix it or fake it. 

   Doing so, I think I've managed to come up with enough to wear to get me to pay day, but it's going to have to be a clever few days.

Multifaceted

   I think that demon that's possessed me of late is running for Martha Stewart Impersonator of the Year. Oh, yes, the unprovoked craft-craziness continues!

   But first and foremost: I can make plants! Yes, my friends, the Windowsill Experiment has been a success so far; we have six peat cups filled with teeny tiny green sprouts. I couldn't be more proud of not killing something.
   But leaf had hardly touched air before I was seized once again, this time with the urge to sew-anything! Mind you, I suck at sewing. Really suck. I haven't sewn anything but the hem of Jason's pants in about two years. But this Spirit must have known what it was doing, because I got Lola (my machine) down from her top shelf, dusted her off, and I tell you it was like magic. I ironed, I pinned, placed, and in 2 and a half hours I had a new skirt! Just like that- and not a half bad skirt, either! I wasn't finished, though. This afternoon I was at it again. With a little sweat and imagination I got this strawberry tart apron.
   Being of multiple minds is effecting more than just my crafts though. Last week I had three job interviews: the coffee shop, the jewelry store, and the hat shop. I wanted the hat shop the most and in all my conversation with the manager, he's practically spouted sonnets to me. But he wanted to wait on the second interview until his co-manager could get back from a business trip. In the mean time, first the coffee shop called me up and offered me the job. They don't want me in till Monday, so I still have time to change my mind. But today, the jewelry shop, which I wanted second, sent me an email offering me the job and asking me to come in on Thursday!
   I'm in over my head. Maybe I should stick with plants- they're so much less complicated than people.

What would you do? Should I just take up Watercolor next?

Top It Off

   Oh my gosh. OK. Breath...
   I'm a little excited right now. K, I'm really excited. It's just an interview, but it's to my number one potential-employer: Goorin Bros. Hats in Harvard Sq. They're beautiful. The hats are incredible and the shops are awesomely designed. It all has the gritty, old time feel with a modern aesthetic. And Alex, whom I spoke with over the phone, seemed so freaking nice. I couldn't think of a place I'd rather work! Can you just see me strutting around, wearing and selling hats that look like they walked off the pages of a Hemingway, then turning around with hats fit for a 50 Cent video? Gah! I love it!
  I fully advocate bringing back hats of all shapes as an essential part of the American wardrobe. Speaking of wardrobes, I went to their website for ideas of what the employees were wearing, to get inspiration for my outfit for tomorrow. What I found was a glove-slap-level challenge. Every shot looked like the set of Oh! Brother, Where Art Thou? But I like a challenge.

   I'll keep you posted with how the interview goes. Wish me luck!

Tune In Next Time for the Shocking Conclusion

  Much is happening and all of it is in the embryonic phase.

• I got a snazzy new hair cut and have a box of Blue Envy by Splat sitting on my counter, wondering what to do with its self. 
• I have another job interview this Thursday! This one's a good one!
• I blacked out this afternoon, and when I came to, I'd acquired a bag of potting soil, seedling pots, and several packets of seeds. There was also a confirmation email stating that several more packets of seeds were on the way. I think I've been possessed by something that thinks it can garden. 

But more on all that later. Good night.    

Tuesdays with Jason

   Yesterday I had my final interview/first day of training. It went well, and I met some cool people, but this isn't about me. The kiddoes and I met Jason at the the Park Street subway stop. As I made my way up through colorful groups of marathoner entourages, Jason took the Green Line to the Christian Science Center. There the three of them had a great time cooling off. They cheered on the last few runners struggling up Boylston Street. Jason cheered for Cal and Lala as they ran sprints to the bus stop. And I got my favorite Jason-quote of the week:

   "We saw that street artist again and I bought more art that you hate. I'll put it in the bathroom." 

   For the record, I actually really like one piece he brought home. It fits the living room perfectly. 

A Quick Awesome

Since it's so late, I'll be brief:

"Mom, I found a quicker way to pick up!"

• A man named Wesley Korir won the Boston Marathon today! 
• We are learning what it means to clean up. Calvin is...innovative. 
• Everyone in Massachusetts is celebrating Patriots Day. We're having spring break!
• Starting today, I work for Job Plan B!
• One of Jobs Plan A may still call back. 
• My previous post, in a more refined form, was picked up by feministing.com!
• Even the weather is wonderful!

The Motherhood Dichotomy

   My mother has never forgiven herself for going to work when I was a child. She wasn’t a bad mom. I was well into school, 3 of my siblings were old enough to be babysitting, and I learned cherished values that I wouldn’t have any other way. But she still carries a regret that I’ve done my share of lifting since I announced I wanted to go to school. It’s a catch 22 that mothers throughout society face: mothers who choose to stay at home are made to feel unappreciated and underachieving, while mothers who choose (or have) to go to work are made to feel guilty. But we all agree that what is good for one family may not be right for another. And yet society places judgment, regardless of the decision. It’s a simple, yet stark conclusion: women are not trusted to decide for themselves what is best for them and their families.  Think about it.
   I think the dichotomy is highlighted by the political blowout from strategist Hillary Rosen’s comments about Ann Romney. The comments were untrue and uncalled for. But the circumstances of Ms. Romney’s choice to stay home stands as a blaring reminder of how many women in the country cannot make that choice. What’s more interesting, during his tenure in office, Mitt Romney tried to increase the required hours worked outside the home in order to receive state childcare reimbursement (a program I think is bass ackwards, but maybe later). In his words, he was trying to “Afford women the dignity of work.” So if you’re rich like Ann, you can take pride in spending all your time with your children, even as they’ve grown. But if you’re poor, there is no dignity in being a mother. Think about it.
    I made the decision before I had children, that when I had them I’d stay at home with them as long as they were in the home. I made my decision based on solid sociological and psychological studies, and my personal interpretations of such. There were hard times where I felt it would be better for the family’s wellbeing if I were able to help with the income - but the ultimate cost of child care, monetarily and emotionally, would have been more than my uneducated self could make. That’s messed up. We made it work out, and I was able to stay at home, but there were plenty of times I was made out to feel unappreciated and two-dimensional. That’s messed up. Now may children have grown beyond this sphere, and I have too. We’re ready to branch out and grow in ways only the village can supply. I’m doing what is best for my family, but there’s always someone, somewhere who wants to cast judgment over that choice. That’s messed up.
Being a mother is awesome.
Being a mother deserves options.
Being a mother deserves respect.