Epic Move...Kinda

So I've decided that it was time for me and the Jewelry Shop to part ways. I finish my stint there at the end of the December.

What? you say? You've only been there since spring and I thought you loved it?!

I know, but there comes a time to grow and move forward from everything stationary, and this was my time to move on from the Jewelry Shop. The facts are that I feel I've been dropping the ball when it comes to Cal and school, that I need to devote more and more time to my writing and impending Kickstarter campaign (all my research has concluded that a successful kickstarter equates to a full time job), and school is starting soon and I HAVE to get in this time or I'll go crazy! These things are just more important to me than a retail job that barely pays for the day care costs it requires.

On a completely unrelated note, what does everyone want for Christmuka?

Happy Best-Two-Days-of-the-Year!

We survived Sandy safe and sound, and I've lived to see another birthday. I admit this one is a bit weird- good, but weird. I'm officially at that age- that age where things need to be moving. Like, sure, I've still got plenty of time, but I should have something to show for my time by now.
Good thing I'm almost finished with this script. My ideal day would involve getting off work and going home to find the kids pooped out from a great day, the house in moderate order, and to settle down an finish the story. Then, of course, to send it to one of my writing-savvy friends to read and tell me it's brilliant.
Tomorrow Jase and I are going as Death and Dream from The Sandman comic series. I think we'll take the kids to Beacon Hill. What are your plans for Halloween?

The Cats

This week we adopted a couple of furry family members.

I'm not sure how long ago we first spoke of getting a pet, but the discussion ended last week with a mouse. Living in this city, mice are just a part of life. But this little bugger avoided every trap, precaution, and tactic we threw at it. Late one night, standing in his underwear with a salad bowl in hand, Jason declared we were getting a cat and that was that.

We considered just getting a kitten on craigslist- kittens are playful, cute, cheap, and perfectly trainable, clean slates. But when I started browsing the website for the Animal Rescue League of Boston, I started to melt. There are so many sweet animals in shelters waiting for forever-homes. And for the amount of vet care that the ARL puts into them, adoption is an amazing deal. A new kitten would cost upward of $500 for first year care alone. I asked Jason and he agreed adoption was the way to go.

The ARL site listed a pair of cats that caught my eye- a 1 year old black and white tuxedo American Short-Hair and his all-white brother. I called the ARL and was given scads of information. I learned that they had come from a placed that was overpopulated with cats. This left them neglected and drastically shy. Their socialization had been the focus of their care, with great results, but they still had a way to go. This, their age, and a prior rash on the white cat's neck had all worked against them when it came to adoption. They'd been there for 5 months (that's a long time to be in a shelter, in case you didn't know). But there was wonderful news. Because of their special case, the ARL was willing to adopt them out for the price of one!

Funny little coincidence- that night I found out that it was "Adopt a Less Adoptable Pet Week."

We hadn't told the kids our plan, in case something didn't work out. So we broke the news the next morning to much excitement. Before I said anything about the cats I'd found, Lala said "Can we get an all-white kitty?"
"As a matter of fact," I grinned.

We went to the ARL after Cal got home from school. We finally got to meet the cats, and despite their timidness had a great experience with the children playing with them. Five minutes in the room with them and I was in love. They were so sweet and full of personality! As we moved forward with the adoption the shelter started buzzing- volunteers kept spreading the news "The Brothers are getting adopted!" There were cheers and high-fives, congratulations and assurance of the cats' general awesomeness. It was such a happy day.

They were already in their carriers, so we had to hold up their pictiures 

Now the newly named Sherlock and Watson are getting acclimatized to their new home and family.   I'd be lying if I said that their timidness didn't get to me now and then. But they are warming up in strides and I have great hope and assurance from my Cat-people friends. And it's nice to just have them around. They are already a pleasant addition to the household.

Scary Things

Have you ever tried something that scared you a little?

Somewhere growing up, in between the American Dream and New Wave Feminism, I got the impression that if it scares you a little, you're doing it right. I can't say that I actually ever experienced what that means, being alternately  too crazy/stupid or too cowardly. Yes, my name is Heather Louise and I am a chicken.

Now I'm experiencing it.

I've been skating with a few other beginners about twice a week for three weeks. It's done about a tablespoons worth of good. Saturday was the first day of Fresh Meat Training and I got the piss knocked out of me. Seriously. By time I got home I was bruised from my butt to my ego. I started to question whether I could actually do this.

Part of me wavered till the other day when I got a good talkin-to from an unlikely source- my mother. Ms. I-don't-like-this-but-I'll-play-along-with-your-shenanigans. She spent a good ten minutes telling me about all the skills Derby would give me and how they could be applied to the real world. She talked about how when we pay attention to life, life tends to hand us exactly what we need. And she told me that if I was feeling chicken, so stare the situation in the face and say "Bring it on!" It was just what I needed.

It got me thinking about other things that scare me, like speaking up about values I believe in and "getting involved." I think it's time I make a list of scary things and start doing them.

Am I still afraid for the next practice? Yes. But I'm ready to face it head on. And I'm armed with a puke-bucket.

Joining the Club

How do I talk about my new favorite toy?

Do I talk about the financial and familial circumstances that led to my inevitable purchase of a new phone?

Do I tell you of my zombified camera or the promises to go without personal spending for a while, leading to getting the latest model? 

Do I gush about the apps or the user interface, or how I danced around the kitchen with NPR in my back pocket today?

Do I tell how Siri keeps my work schedule, reminded me to get Lily signed up for preschool, texts Jason, and calls me Catwoman?

I know what to say...

...I totally get it now.

Tuesdays With Jason is Back!

Good evening, Friends! Though it's been an interesting, busy couple of weeks, but we've come to a settling. It's time to resume the weekly spot light on our favorite lovable character. This week with Jason:

• "Calvin, don't wrap your head in duct tape!"
• Me: I don't feel well, but I feel like I have to make a good dinner.
  Jason: Don't worry about it- I brought cereal"
• "K time to force myself to draw."
• "I heard Russel Brand talking and thought he was just obnoxious, but then he kept talking and I though-'this guy is brilliant!'"

And for your viewing pleasure, a little treat that Jason and I agree just might be the coolest thing ever. 

Being the Boss

I decided that I never want to be a business owner. Maybe cool enough to have a personal assistant some day, but there's no way I want to interview and hire an entire staff. And all I've had to experience so far is the vetting of babysitters.
   We've gone through every avenue from spreading the word at church to posting job adds on the Harvard website, to looking up postings on Craigslist. What we've come up with seem to be of two camps.

On the One Hand: 

• Has experience babysitting or working as a nanny for a friend. 
• Uses an excess of typos and grammatical errors, including the non-word "alot"
• Moved hear for "personal reasons" 
• Expects to be paid anywhere from $5-10 more than I make. 

On the Other Hand: 

• Has a BA in one of the following: Psychology and Cognitive Neuroscience, Global Health and Population with a minor in Arabic Studies; Performing Arts and Theater
• Speaks French, Spanish, Arabic, and/or Chinese
• Volunteered with Special Olympics in Africa, Habitat for Humanity in Venezuela, or worked as an Au Pair in France. 
•  How can I possibly ask you to take minimum wage? But please babysit my kids! 

I'm just trying to figure out how other people do it. 

Happy Birthday, Jason!

This month we celebrated 28 awesome years of Jason. Grandma came by and swept the kids off for a few days at the D.C. cousins' house, so we hit the road again- just the two of us.

Jason G, Age 28

Casual Comfort

We arrived in New York to the welcome of friends with unending warmth and generosity. We had a blast in our signature style of goofy party games and even goofier prizes for the winners. We sang happy birthday over cupcakes and talked about our favorite things about Jason. It was perfect. 

The whole W family came for the fun! 

You're The Cthulhu Worshiper! 

Joe Wins! 

Happy Birthday too You! 

As the guests left, we settled down to cups of tea and good conversation with our dear hosts till the wee hours of the morning. The next day, just as my camera battery died, we walked to the Natural History Museum, the Flea Market, and a Farmers' Market. We studied bio-luminescent creatures and read about the future of the space program. We ate maple cotton candy and looked at Chinese relics and handmade jewelry in the sunshine. We couldn't imagine a more perfect weekend.

I love you madly, Sparky. This year will be the best one yet!
Love, Bunny

You Tell Me

Holy-Radio-Silence, Batman! It's been a busy two weeks and I've been wiped out. But that means I've got a lot to write about! Here's just a bit of the buzz:

•  Going to New York for Jason's Birthday party
• The tragic conclusion of The Windowsill Experiment, Pt. 1
• A whole week with the kids at cousins'
• 5 days of just Me, Myself, And I, for the first time Ever
• New adventures in writing...comics?

Now it's your turn- what do you want to hear about first? 

The Bright Side of Monday

   Mondays can be pretty detestable. Thank you Captain Obvious. But so can a lot of other things be, depending on how you look at them. So today I've been trying to take a page out of my Lala's book and look on the bright side (she is the most optimistic child ever!)

• Monday means tomorrow is Tuesday: Tuesday is Pay Day! I get to go grocery shopping with my new cook book in tow. I get to go to my new job that I love. I'm so getting something new to wear for work! Maybe that dress I've been drooling over for a week. 
• My aching back means that I've got one hellofa clean kitchen! 
• I have a wonderful, supportive husband who's been showering me with positiveness all day.
• There are French bulldogs in the world. 

What's on your bright side? 

Veggie Mama

Happy Mother’s Day!
I hope your mother knows you appreciate them, or if you’re a mother I hope you feel appreciated.
I sure do! This morning, after sleeping in very late I woke up to kisses and hug, hand-drawn cards and a delightfully thoughtful gift, but I’ll get to that in a minute. For the rest of the day was amusing chaos as I watched Jason take on the bulk of the household/parental-drudgery. When he crumpled on the bed after saying goodnight to the children, I couldn’t help but feel simultaneous pity, awe, gratitude, and satisfaction. I think this has been the best Mother’s Day yet and I know my family loves me.

 As for the awesome gift, it starts with a story. Now stick with me- I’m not going to get all preachy and whatnot- I’m just going to tell it how it happened. About a year ago I was feeling pretty crappy about myself and life as a whole. I was having prolonged bouts of low grade depression, trouble with my weight, my skin, my energy level, and generally feeling yuck. I’d tried a number of methods to treat each individually, but needless to say, nothing worked.

 One day I was wandering through a book store as aimless as anyone could be without bumping into stuff, wondering what exactly I was going to do about it. Then I realized I was in the cook book section. I’m no chef. I follow the back of the box, thank you very much. But I was moved to pick up The Kind Diet but AliciaSilverstone (another weirdness since I’m definitely not the Us Weekly type). But cover bragged a forward by Dr. Neal Barnard, of whom I’d read several times. But what hooked me was inside read a list of everything that had been bothering me; all could be solved, allegedly, by eating a vegan diet with the processed sugar cut out. There wasn’t much I wouldn’t have tried at that point and the serendipity was a little much for me.

So I went for it. So how did it turn out? In two weeks I was feeling better than ever. Everything improved! It wasn’t perfect, but neither was I- but everything improved. I was feeling better than ever. Then life happened, stress happened, money didn’t happen, and I fell off the wagon. And trust me- the list of symptoms has reared its ugly head. It hasn’t been hard to stay vegetarian and that has been helpful, but it’s not a vegan-friendly world. It takes a conscious effort till you really get in the habit. Not to mention that while I have all the support imaginable, I’m the only one in the family doing this.
 I’ve known all this time that I wanted to get back in the boat, and in this recent burst of ambitious energy I’ve decided that now is the time. I’ve been prepping food differently for a couple of days and feeling pretty good about. I’ve been scouring the interwebs for good vegan blogs, and reading up on new cook books to try.

And just how supportive has Jason been with all of this? Look what he got me for Mother’s Day! The VEGENOMICON: The Ultimate VeganCookbook. No way am I eating these by myself! Now I'm really stoked. Step back! Mama’s in the kitchen! 

What did you do for your mother today/ what did your kids do for you? Have you ever been interested in eating vegan/vegetarian? 

Growing Obsession

  Have you ever admired something obscure only to wake up on a random day and say "I'm going to be a carpenter!" or "I'm going to train for a marathon!" with no prior experience? Good, then you'll understand when I tell you I got possessed by a gardening demon the other day.
   I tell you, nothing inspired it. I simply went from "I'd like a container garden...maybe sometime," to "I will garden NOW!" I can't even really recall how I got from the initial thought to eyeballs deep in mail order seed websites.
  With super speed I ascertained that growing a container garden was cheap ( or at least cheaper than I thought or could spend on something else), easy to maintain, and possible on my little back porch. All of these have yet to be determined. I also found out that my favorite garden flowers- can you guess what?- were sold out across the board. But unfettered, I found a distributor of seeds through Amazon, and managed to order the precious seeds from the bowls of the Earth. Hopefully they'll be here before growing season is over. From another, reputed, company I got some container-friendly strawberries, Bells of Ireland, and Zinnias that are supposed to grow deep wine red and chartreuse.
   I loaded up the kiddos and trekked to the hardware store for the basics, which turned out to be MiracleGro soil, peat cups, and the kids' choice of seed- Shasta Daisies, Primroses, and Heirloom Green Beans. With some messy fingers and a few spills, we created a germination science experiment on the windowsill that my or may not determine if I'm totally off my rocker with this project.
   But wait! The craziness continues! After much review I selected the book I Garden: Urban Style about how to start and keep an urban garden (obviously) but with as relaxed an effort as possible. I read it in two days.
   Today I was tending to the Windowsill Experiment, anxious for something to show, to make it real, and it was too much. I couldn't start everything from seed; couldn't someone do some of the work for me? I wanted a baby plant! Thus entered Verdenand the Tomato. He's my beautiful new pet. And the others will be too, when they sprout, but for now I can tend to Verdenand and wait.

   He also holds a deeper significance- that of eating what we grow. When I decided to get a tomato plant, part of the incentive was cost; at $3 there wasn't much to lose. Then I went to the Harvest Coop and picked up some tomatoes for dinner tonight- you guessed it- $3 per pound. That gave me a fun idea to see just how much this gardening thing pays off. Every time we use tomatoes from Verdenand per day, I'll add $3 to a running total. At the end of the summer we'll see just how much money our little green friend has saved us.

Have you ever been possessed by a hobby demon? Do you like to garden? Do you have a container garden? What is your favorite flower or homegrown veggie? Is this totally bonkers?

Tue-er...Wednesdays with Jason!

This has been a weird week. So weird, in fact, that I missed Tuesdays With Jason! My apologies; I am here to make amends. I present to you, Wednesday With Jason:

• "Want to know a way to instantly feel worse about yourself?" No thank you.
• "Honey, I'm so proud of you," after I called to say I was quitting the liberal NPO call center.
• "I don't want you to think I'm making out with a tattoo!" It's a long story. 

The Little Things (Like Sqinkies!)

    The weekends usually mean Deep Cleaning for us, and the last few weeks we’ve been doing our best to get the kids more involved in their share of the task. They have reached the age where they can take on more, and we’re trying to raise responsible citizens, sure, but it’s more than that. We’ve reached a breaking point. There seems to be a direct correlation between a child’s age, their most desired toy, and the torture it inflicts on said child’s parents.

    After a good playing session, it takes one parent a good 45-90 minutes to clean up just the Legos. That’s if they haven’t been mixed with the Squinkies, rock collection, crayons, and anything else the size of a nickel, but we’ll come back to that. The Legos have to be cleaned up immediately. Have you ever stepped on a Lego with your bare foot? The CIA should look into Legos for interrogations! And Squinkies! A Squinkie is an adorable little rubber character that comes in its own plastic bubble (think upgraded quarter machine toy), and they are collectable. That means that if a child is between 4 and 9 years old, they have to have Squinkies. They immediately discard the plastic bubble, ready for a barefoot parent to step on. The child will play with the Squinky for a while, get distracted, lose the Squinky, then throw a hurricane of a fit until the plastic-bubble-crippled parent turns the whole house over to find the lost Squinky.

    But the one that sends me over the Coo Coo’s nest is the Turn Over.  The Turn Over is when they take everything- the Legos, Squinkies, Hot Wheels, rock collection, Barbie and her accessories, every tiny toy you can imagine, and dump them out onto the floor. All of them. From neatly sorted boxes to one big mess. The Turn Over takes about 5 seconds. It takes roughly 2-3 hours to clean up.

    So Cal and Lala and learning about good old work ethic. Something they don’t tell you when you become parent is that life lessons like this don’t often come because of any growth milestone. They come because the parents have had enough. 

Tuesdays with Jason

   Yesterday I had my final interview/first day of training. It went well, and I met some cool people, but this isn't about me. The kiddoes and I met Jason at the the Park Street subway stop. As I made my way up through colorful groups of marathoner entourages, Jason took the Green Line to the Christian Science Center. There the three of them had a great time cooling off. They cheered on the last few runners struggling up Boylston Street. Jason cheered for Cal and Lala as they ran sprints to the bus stop. And I got my favorite Jason-quote of the week:

   "We saw that street artist again and I bought more art that you hate. I'll put it in the bathroom." 

   For the record, I actually really like one piece he brought home. It fits the living room perfectly. 

A Quick Awesome

Since it's so late, I'll be brief:

"Mom, I found a quicker way to pick up!"

• A man named Wesley Korir won the Boston Marathon today! 
• We are learning what it means to clean up. Calvin is...innovative. 
• Everyone in Massachusetts is celebrating Patriots Day. We're having spring break!
• Starting today, I work for Job Plan B!
• One of Jobs Plan A may still call back. 
• My previous post, in a more refined form, was picked up by feministing.com!
• Even the weather is wonderful!

The Motherhood Dichotomy

   My mother has never forgiven herself for going to work when I was a child. She wasn’t a bad mom. I was well into school, 3 of my siblings were old enough to be babysitting, and I learned cherished values that I wouldn’t have any other way. But she still carries a regret that I’ve done my share of lifting since I announced I wanted to go to school. It’s a catch 22 that mothers throughout society face: mothers who choose to stay at home are made to feel unappreciated and underachieving, while mothers who choose (or have) to go to work are made to feel guilty. But we all agree that what is good for one family may not be right for another. And yet society places judgment, regardless of the decision. It’s a simple, yet stark conclusion: women are not trusted to decide for themselves what is best for them and their families.  Think about it.
   I think the dichotomy is highlighted by the political blowout from strategist Hillary Rosen’s comments about Ann Romney. The comments were untrue and uncalled for. But the circumstances of Ms. Romney’s choice to stay home stands as a blaring reminder of how many women in the country cannot make that choice. What’s more interesting, during his tenure in office, Mitt Romney tried to increase the required hours worked outside the home in order to receive state childcare reimbursement (a program I think is bass ackwards, but maybe later). In his words, he was trying to “Afford women the dignity of work.” So if you’re rich like Ann, you can take pride in spending all your time with your children, even as they’ve grown. But if you’re poor, there is no dignity in being a mother. Think about it.
    I made the decision before I had children, that when I had them I’d stay at home with them as long as they were in the home. I made my decision based on solid sociological and psychological studies, and my personal interpretations of such. There were hard times where I felt it would be better for the family’s wellbeing if I were able to help with the income - but the ultimate cost of child care, monetarily and emotionally, would have been more than my uneducated self could make. That’s messed up. We made it work out, and I was able to stay at home, but there were plenty of times I was made out to feel unappreciated and two-dimensional. That’s messed up. Now may children have grown beyond this sphere, and I have too. We’re ready to branch out and grow in ways only the village can supply. I’m doing what is best for my family, but there’s always someone, somewhere who wants to cast judgment over that choice. That’s messed up.
Being a mother is awesome.
Being a mother deserves options.
Being a mother deserves respect. 

Finding the Bright Side

   There's been an uneasy feeling hanging over me for a couple of days. I went to the college to refresh my status as a student (you need to do that after going a semester without taking classes), where I found out that the financial office doesn't do payment plans during the summer terms. This is relevant because 3 days before we were supposed to get our tax return (which would have payed my tuition) we instead got a letter saying our old student loan demons had risen and snatched every penny. They said they wouldn't do that. It's those demons that are also keeping me disqualified for Pell grants.

    So I've turned up my job searching mode to High. I've sent out applications near and, well, as far as the T will take me. I didn't just exhaust Craigslist.com, I put it in a coma. I've thought of everything I can come up with on my own- I even considered creating a sort of Kickstarter-style fund (doesn't that sound like a good idea for students? Well, not everyone thinks so.) I started a LinkedIn account- Golly, was that demoralizing! My most recent experience was in 2006! Can anyone here top that? And school counts- no cheaters.
   I can't tell how much I've been relying on other people's positiveness. Even my little ones have been a buoy to me. Yesterday, in a moment of weakness the kids found me curled up on my bed. When they asked what was wrong, I told them "I really, really want to go to school but I don't have enough money."
   Lily put her arms around me and said, "It's OK, Mom. Just look on the bright side."
   Then Calvin brought me a penny he found on the floor. "Here, Mom, you can use this."
   So, about that bright side, if we work it right, I might be able to take one class this summer. OK. It's better than going bonkers for another semester.

Tuesdays with Jason

Jason is my best friend. He keeps things positive, upbeat, and always interesting. I present, a collection of recent Jason Quotes:

• "It's like I spend my whole life putting you back together, and then your parents come along and say stuff like 'Do you have edema?'"
• "This smells like the Butt of Ages."
• "When California legalized fruit-human marriages, Stan gave the pineapple a hearty smooch." 
• When asked why we are only 2nd degree contacts on LinkedIn.com, "Because we don't have enough sex."
• "Until this very moment, I didn't know what you meant either."
• "Apparently other people have different ideas of what a college party would entails." 
• "I bought them toys- I'm such a bad father!" 

About the Last Post

I spend more time cleaning or taking care of my kids while wearing pajama pants than being awesomely styled up. I'm not any good at doing the whole "perfect" thing. I'm also not much for baking. Our interior design is a sparse work in progress constrained by money, talent (or the lack there of) and priority (i.e. sometimes the acne medication or the kids shoes come before the new rug).  I'm kind of burned out on a lot of the things that I see on the internet. So I decided I would do the opposite. Make a little fun telling it like it is. I think it's going to become a regular thing.

The party was a raving success, even if half the guests couldn't make it. Pictures to come.

How did you spend your Presidents' Day? I was in bed, sick.